Do you remember setting your New Year’s resolutions for 2020? Doesn’t it seem like a lifetime ago!
And, chances are, you didn’t get anywhere close to meeting them.
- That dream Disney holiday? Cancelled.
- Your weight loss goal? Scuppered by the lure of the biscuit tin during lockdown 1.
- The new car/house you wanted? Put on hold after months on furlough.
- Your intention to get fitter? Up in smoke after your weekly spin class was cancelled.
Yup, whether your goals for the year related to travel, health, or your finances, 2020 was quick to let you know that it had other ideas.
But what if the fact that so many of our intentions could be so easily damaged by external events is a ginormous clue that actually the way we look at New Year’s Resolutions — and goals in general — is fundamentally flawed?
Think about it:
When setting our resolutions we think about the things we want to buy or obtain. Things we want to tick off a bucket list. Things we want to achieve.
What if, instead of thinking about what we want to Do, we think about how we want to FEEL?
Because often, how we want to feel is actually the true motivation behind our resolutions anyway.
We make a pledge to travel more but is it really the travel itself we’re craving or do we want novelty, time with family, or to feel more relaxed? We make a resolution to earn/save more money but is it really about the money or is it about wanting to feel more accepted, more powerful, or more secure? We say we want to run a marathon but do we want the shiny completer’s medal or do we want to feel like the kind of person who has determination, stamina, or boundless energy?
So have a think back to your goals for 2020. Or, if you’ve already set some goals for 2021, think about them for a second. Are they centred on external achievements? Are they likely to be possible no matter what the pandemic or other events of 2021 throw at us?
Or do you need to dig a bit deeper to find the true underlying motivation?
And if so, how do you start digging deep enough to find out what you REALLY want from 2021?
Simple: you ask ‘future you’.
The ‘future you’ mental rehearsal is one of my absolute favourite mindset rituals — in a little over two minutes, you can learn to clear your mental clutter, click into your subconscious, and start uncovering all sorts of juicy information about your dreams, desires, and needs.
Visualise ‘future you’: what does she look like, what decisions does she consistently take to improve her health, her happiness, and the balance in her life? Think about all of the ways in which she is thriving.
Create her, and then step into her. Become her. Take a moment and just BE in this future you. Feel your heart beating as hers. And, crucially, feel her feelings as if they were your own.
Taking the time to communicate with ‘future you’ is immensely powerful. And once you’ve discovered what she looks like, how she moves through her life, and how she feels, you can take that first step towards her creation.
Creating ‘future you’.
Now that you’ve seen her, now that you’ve lived in her skin for a few seconds, or a few minutes, and now that you’ve felt what she feels, I know you want to just jump right into her — you want to buy the expensive-but-life-changing course, book the soul-awakening trip, or invest in the shiny new thing that’ll make everything fall into place.
But, lovely, as you know, real, lasting transformation is seldom about the grand gestures.
It’s about the small steps. The considered steps. The consistent steps. And the simple steps.
For you, it might be about deciding on the actions, the habits, and the mindset that will edge you closer to how you want to feel, and saying ‘no’ to anything that could pull you in the opposite direction.
Or it might be a case of pushing yourself out of your comfort zone in manageable ways, like going for ONE run instead of signing up to a weekly 5k straight off the bat. Or sending ONE enquiry email rather than jumping headfirst into an Open Uni degree! There’s nothing wrong with working your way up to the big stuff!
And always, always remember to reframe your resolution to help you check in with how you FEEL.
Say your resolution is to take a luxury holiday — a chance to escape. Dig deeper and you might find that your true desire is to feel calmer, more relaxed.
Yes, a beautifully relaxing break on the shores of Lake Garda will deliver that feeling for sure. With a pandemic-friendly shuffle, a few days by a loch in the beautiful Scottish Highlands could be just as relaxing.
But consider, do you want to feel calmer for a few days or do you want to live a calmer life? Because there’s a huge difference.
So when you’re creating future you, think about taking tiny steps to add rejuvenating pockets of calm in your everyday life. A new yoga practice, a meditation app, or reshuffling some of your daily responsibilities might be enough to help you create a life that you don’t NEED to escape from.
The one thing I’ll say about 2020 is that it’s been a huge eye-opener in so many ways. We’ve had the push — and often the time — to rethink and reprioritise. Many of you will be approaching 2021 brimming with new intentions and with the desire to recapture 2020’s lost goals. But, while we hope that the coming year will be far more positive that this one, there are no guarantees.
However, if your New Year’s resolutions centre on how you want 2021’s version of you to feel, on the kind of person you want to be rather than the things you want to do, there’s almost literally nothing — no, not even a global pandemic — that can stop you from hitting those fist-bumping, air-punching, incredibly exciting goals.
Think you’ll need some help creating ‘future you’? I’d love to help you. At the end of January, I’ll be running another one of my hugely popular FREE ‘From Exhausted to Energised’ boot camps — over 4 days I’ll give you the tools, the information, and the support you need to step into 2021 with calm, clarity, and confidence. Secure your spot now to make sure you don’t miss out.
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