Finding the flow: why we all make ONE vital mistake with self-care (and how to fix it!)

The secret to wellbeing and balance? You thought you’d nailed it. After all, your self-care strategy is on point:

·       Morning routine including journaling, stretching, and meditation. Check!

·       Regular daily walk in nature. Check!

·       Wholesome homemade salad every day for lunch. Check!

And boy, was it working. You were strutting around like Wonder Woman. You felt fabulous.

Until you didn’t.

Whether it crept up gradually or hit you overnight, you feel like something isn’t quite right. Your energy has dipped, you’ve lost your Zen, and you’re pretty sure you’re going to devour the entire contents of the kids’ snack cupboard if you have to so much as look at another salad.

Sound familiar?

I know it does because it’s happened to all of us at one time or another. And without fail, it’s because we’re getting ONE element of self-care fundamentally wrong.

No, you’re not missing the mark with your journaling. You’re not failing at yoga.

You just forgot about the flow.

You see, we’re constantly told that practice makes perfect. That if something isn’t working, you just have to keep at it or double your efforts. And that might work if you’re, say, studying a language or learning Cordon Bleu cookery.

But when it comes to self-care? Not so much.

Because, if you’re searching for better health, wellbeing, and balance, it’s not about finding what works.
It’s about finding what works right now.

You see, so many of the things that affect your overall wellbeing are in constant flux. The changing seasons. The changing needs of your family as your kids grow. Changes at work as you tackle a new role, job, or industry. Changes in your body as your hormones shift, settle, or turn you into a raging, sweating, weeping mess.

And with so much change in your life and your body, it’s unrealistic to think that your self-care strategies can remain static — and still deliver the results you’re used to.

Finding your flow.

So does that mean you’re destined to remain Zen-less? To never have the energy you need to make it through the week?

Not at all, lovely . All you need is a teeny tiny mindset shift.

If you can abandon the idea of having a set, static self-care routine and embrace the idea of a wellness strategy that ‘goes with the flow’, I promise you’ll find your energetic, joyful, sparkly self.

Let’s have a look at what that might look like for you.

Finding your self-care baseline.

First up, it’s a good idea to figure out your self-care baseline. So forget what the personal development books tell you to do. And forget what the experts tell you to do. When it comes to self-care, which strategies ALWAYS make you feel amazing, no matter what’s happening in the big, wide world, what the weather’s like, how much pressure you’re under at work, or how hormonal you are?

Maybe it’s meditation, maybe it’s a regular cardio session, maybe it’s making the time every afternoon at 4pm to sip a smoothie and read a magazine for ten minutes.

Whatever it is, it’s your go-to and it’s a fantastic self-care starting point.

Testing, experimenting and exploring.

Now you’ve recognised your basic level of self-care, you can start to find your flow by taking elements of your current routine and tweaking, experimenting, and exploring different ways getting your wellbeing mojo back.

So, maybe you’ve spent the last six months running outdoors but you just aren’t feeling the same high. It might be that you need to find a different way of getting your endorphins flowing so why not try a group exercise class either at your local gym or online.

Or, if you’re recovering from an illness or injury and your usual cardio is too much for you, experiment with different ways of moving your body with lower impact activities like yoga or swimming. Maybe spending time with like-minded people is your go-to form of self-care but work stresses are making you want to avoid crowded social situations. Try suggesting a quiet walk with a friend instead, or explore the possibilities of connecting with others over Zoom or in an online community.

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